Depth In Thought | timmya's Blog

Ever felt as though you should be picking someone up from the ground and darping their almost lifeless body in your strong, metaphorical embrace? I feel this way constantly.Yet; I get wrapped up in my own head and my own thoughts.Some things will go unnoticed and later on I nearly regret that I neglected to aid it. I know a thing or two about one person or another and they'll look up to me as if I have some grand words of wisdom that will paint their grey skies blue. I can only gaze upon them in disbelief because I need my blue skies too. I have a slight idea of how to help others, I feel the pain; every emotion of others and I want to fix it. I never dive directly into a situation because of what one has told me. I evaluate the possible outcome and affect and strategically maneuvor, verbally, so that I can reverbirate the way I wish to. Maybe in secret it changes them positively, but only a select few elect to tell me so...every blue moon.At times I find myself flapping my hands above my head and shouting that I need my own time for thinking, just to remember it is not even about me in the least. My life is not my own, you see. None of ours is, and that alone is both frustrating and awe-inspring. I don't force my beliefs on others nor do I throw scrpitures at them to make them feel like less of a person. I can't preach to someone about what is Godly when I know I'm going to sin the very next day/ They say God is forgiving, but does that give us the right to sin anyhow and each time ask for gorgiveness anyway? That just does not seem right. Should we not do that which is shunned in the first place? Becauseif each time we sin and just ask for forgiveness, we play a game of cat and mouse. It's almost like a slap in God's face saying " well you say ot to but I will anyhow and you'll get over it." So my thing is that I know I am a sinner and I know I will do it again, so I don't pretend to sit well with God and pray to him everyday, because I don't. I am ashamed to call myself christian because of my actions and doubts as a whole. I speak to a divine entity that I believe dwells somewhere over head, or is he just there in our consciousness eternally? I can't quote the bible to impress others because I'd just be skating around it to use what will only benefit me at that moment. I've had quite a few people do that to me and they know they look silly doing so because I know just as they do that their cheating their faith.

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Previous Posts
Depth In Thought, posted November 16th, 2012
The Loudest Silence, posted August 3rd, 2012
Contradicting A Conflicting Conviction., posted August 3rd, 2012

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